When one of your parent has cancer

I still remember the most difficult time of my life was when papa, was detected with cancer. There was so much going on in my head. I was sad. I was anxious. I was scared. I was angry. I was completely lost. I wanted to ask so many questions. But whom to ask and what to ask? I was completely baffled

I became overemotional, I would cry at the drop of a hat. I would get irritated easily and was in constant frustrated mode. The next few days passed just like this. I was battling with myself. I wanted to help papa, but how ? when I was restless myself. I needed to calm myself.I needed to get over my thoughts to help my family and start with the treatment.

I visited this Cancer Hospital, and my thoughts took a drastic change. It was a hospital completely dedicated to people suffering from cancer. Thousands of people visiting daily from different parts of the world. Different cancer. Different pain. Different stories. At the same time, all of us were related. Cancer patient and families-we all were struggling and were dealing with our pain in our own way without saying anything to anyone.

When someone you love has cancer, things will definitely be different. And they become more painful when it is one of your parent. The first thing you need to do is to get hold of yourself and your wandering thoughts. It is important that you realize that for the next few months you will play a  very important role in building an environment that is not only motivational for your parent but also calm and peaceful for yourself and your family.

It is a tough time and you need to be strong for your loved ones. They need your support. Both at emotional and at mental level. Sometime even financially. 

For the parent-  who has just been diagnosed with cancer, it is the most sad phase of life. They can become irritated, and don't want to talk. Don't feel bad. Try to help them by distracting. You can do a lot of things to help, for instance 

• Try spending more time 
• Read a book of their choice
• Play music of their choice as long as they are comfortable
• You can treat them with luxuries
• Help them with their medication/treatment

As a child you always know what your parents really like, same way as they know what you like. You can find different ways to divert them from cancer. You can do all this, but only if you are in the right frame of mind. Create a support system for yourself. While you take care of your parent, don’t forget to take care of yourself. It’s okay to cry and let your emotions out. Don’t be guilty. It’s not you fault.

Taking care of yourself can make a big difference to the way you feel about yourself  as the caretaker and  your ability to perform these new roles and responsibilities in a more responsible manner.

Papa, miss you- It is easier said then done, but I tried and still trying!