By this time last year, papa never woke up..he just lay in the bed lifeless. I would sit next to him in the hope that he would wake up. But now he never opened his eyes. He never smiled. He never looked at me.The morphine patches kept papa drowsy the whole day.
Every now and then, me and my mother would moisten papa’s dry lips. His pain was unbearable.The pain killers were no help. Allopathy din't help. Homeopathy was not helping. Ayurveda was not helping. Nothing was working. The doctor advised morphine patches. Usually patients are advised to take oral morphine, or through injection.But papa was too weak to swallow…and injection I din’t want.
I used to buy these morphine patches from the hospital…I was giving my own father morphine. Yes, the addictive drug- Morphine. It is not a pain killer but keeps the patient drowsy all the time and he becomes oblivious to his pain. Papa now was unconscious all time. I prayed every single moment , that his suffering should end….and I wished that he fades …I am sorry papa, what a bad bad baby I have been.
Love you PAPA!