Chapter 3 - Lesson learnt from Papa’s cancer journey

Papa's tryst with cancer began in Nov2012 ( that’s when we came to know about it). The diagnosis came as a shock. How can it be? How is it possible? A person so healthy, disciplined, health conscious. In the days followed, I began to realize that life will never be the same again.

Though papa, left us in October 2013. But we are still living in the nightmare. Though the pain papa was enduring might have come to end. But we are still suffering and the pain only grows! The pain of his absence.

Papa, still lives with us in his smile, calm, and the values he taught us. And I wish to keep him alive by living upto the values he taught us. Those 10months, of papa's cancer journey taught me many things. Few i am sharing here, so that nobody suffers like me.

If you are not feeling well for a long time, don’t ignore. Visit a doctor immediately.

Looking back, papa was showing symptoms for months- fatigue, loss of appetite, abdominal pain. They were all signs. He was visiting this doctor. The doctor kept on giving him medication for urinary infection. We took another opinion, the doctor suggested to take kidney Xray. But everything was all rite. 

But the symptoms persisted. We decided to have ultrasound of stomach. The doctor shared his doubts of presences of stones in the gall bladder.

The next step was to get the gall stones removed as early as possible. The operation  for removal of stones  was scheduled for 30th November 2012.  I was waiting outside the OT. The doctor came out within  5minutes and gave us the shock of our lives. Papa has Gall bladder Cancer Stage 4 Type B. He din’t have much time( in best scenario  9months) but he has to go.

Don’t feel guilty, try to make the most of the time, you have got

In the past few years, i was so busy with my daughter, husband and work that i hardly spent time with papa. After the diagnosis, which came as a major blow.I wanted to do so much and the time was very less. But i planned, started working on my to do list.

My brother had recently bought a new house in Mumbai, i wanted papa to see it. We went to Mumbai.
Though papa spent most of his time at home. But he saw my brother’s home and was very proud.We also went to a re-known hospital in Mumbai( Visit to the hospital turned out to be a complete sham) The doctors and hospital were money oriented. 

We celebrated my parents 42nd and last wedding anniversary. We went to Lansdowne. Papa stayed in the resort all through the trip. But in the early morning,he would sit in balcony.

After years,  me and my younger brother celebrated our birthdays with papa. He smiled, He clapped and blessed us.

I took papa to a hindi movie of his favorite actress- Deepika padukone, which he enjoyed.

5th October, it was papa’s 71st birthday, we wanted to make memories of a lifetime. We celebrated his last birthday with us. He had stopped eating completely except for a heap of pain killers thrice a day. 

It was 24th October, Karvachauth, Mom fasted, she got his favorite sweet. Cancer has reached to the mouth - the last stage.   He loved sweets, after months of not eating anything,  he had a small piece.

A day after,  Papa went away

Give time to the person to handle cancer in his/her own way.

I am very proud of my father. He tried his best to overcome the disease. Results were good in the first quarter of treatment. On 14th Feb2013, the results of his first cycle of treatment came. There was 20% improvement in his health. I smiled and went running to papa.  Now we had that silver lining that we have been looking for. We became hopeful. This was the last time i saw papa smiling.

Don't hesitate to show that you care

When some one you love has cancer. Show him that you care. Take active part in his care. In the months to come, papa’s health started to decline. Cancer has reached in bones. And his back bone became porous and crumbled. He became bedridden. All of us came around and took turns to be with papa.

The once so lively room, turned in a gloomy hospital room. Medicines, IVFluids, Injections, water bed, wheel chair replaced the furniture.

We all tried our best to smile for him and keep a positive attitude. Papa supported us too by believing in our faith. He happily went through chemotherapy, radiation therapy jus to make us happy. 

Don’t hesitate to say “I LOVE U”

Even after papa was diagnosed with cancer. His strength and the struggle to hold on to life was remarkable. He refused to give up.  The urge to live was so strong that it gives us inspiration till today. I would call myself fortunate to be able to spend time with him in his final day and tell him “ he was loved”. We all were with him on the night he passed away, 26th October2013.

Love you papa! You are the best!