Everyday Hero- Doctor treating papa!

For many of you reading my blog, may find it repetitive. But than that's how it had been. For 11 months my routine was same. Nothing new happened. Everyday was long and painful. Time wouldn't just move.

Every single day of my life, I lived in the fear- what if next moment is the moment. I was always in alert mode even in my sleep. Seeing him collapse was not easy, but I kept faith in god. For me my god was the doctor treating papa.

The doctor ( I will refer him as Mr. SSR)  treating my father is one of the nicest man, I know. Such a humble soul. I still remember the last time, papa was in hospital- Mr. SSR came to meet him and he held my dad's face in hand and said - "you will soon get better, then come to meet me".

When papa (at 1:15am, 26 October 2013) left - I messaged him. And he replied almost immediately. I take this platform to thank you. I will always remember your kindness. May you be blessed with best in life.

For me my father meant a world, anyone who had been good to him- will always find me next to him/her anytime - anywhere! they just have say and i will be there.

Love you PAPA! 

Papa and Me!

Time just flew away, in a week …it will be a year. And I remember, how I counted minutes in the hospital room. A few minutes felt like days….and with a whole year gone by. I missed you everyday papa in everything I did.

Today I am sharing, what it was like to be your daughter….

• You were my best friend. I could always discuss with you anything and everything
• You treated me as a princess. You believed in me and my opinion was always counted.
• Like any teenager, I too had arguments with mumma and you knew just how to handle the 2 women you loved.
• You knew exactly, what to say and when. You knew where to begin and how to end.
• You trusted me completely and never questioned any of my decisions and the choices I made.
• You gave me the freedom to choose and live the choices. But you were there always behind me to support, If ever I may fall.
• You were always there for me. No matter when and where I was, you was always there.
• During my growing years, I too had arguments with you, but you always took time to explain and listen.

And lastly, I can say that  I have( you are always my papa) the BEST FATHER…in the whole world

To you PAPA( Lovely Song by Barbara Streisand that exactly conveys my feelings)

God, our Heavenly Father
Oh, God and my father
Who is also in heaven

May the light of this flickering candle
Illuminate the night the way
Your spirit illuminates my soul

Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can you find me in the night?

Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me, not be frightened?

Looking at the skies I seem to see a million eyes
Which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday

Has waved good-bye and closed its doors?

The night is so much darker
The wind is so much colder

The world I see is so much bigger

Now that I'm alone

Papa, please forgive me

Try to understand me
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?

Can you hear me praying?

Anything I'm saying?
Even though the night
Is filled with voices

I remember everything you taught me
Every book I've ever read
Can all the words in all the books

Help me to face what lies ahead?

The trees are so much taller

And I feel so much smaller
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright

Papa, how I love you
Papa, how I need you
Papa, how I miss you

Love U Papa!

Chapter 2 - Hospital

Papa was diagnosed with cancer in one of the so called best hospitals in Delhi. But since the hospital din’t have dedicated oncology department. So it was mandatory to shift him to some other hospital. Now the  major question was where to take papa for his further and specialized treatment. I had two options stay in Delhi and be there with papa or send papa to Mumbai, where my younger brother stays. 

I turned selfish and decided to find a hospital in Delhi itself .Besides papa wanted to be at  home and be with his “chutki beti”( his only grandchild and my daughter). 

Papa, was admitted to a Cancer hospital in Delhi.  The hospital staff was very good. I must say, during the entire treatment, i am more then happy with the junior staff. The staff was compassionate and dedicated. From ensuring personal hygiene to a dedicated nurse to look after papa.  Timely medicines to dressing the wounds, or just applying lotion on a swollen nerve. Everything was done in a very disciplined manner. Every morning the CEO, would just come without informing. And would listen to everyone and personally ask every patient or relatives about the hospital, doctors, or any other issue.

Papa, loved to dress up and was very conscious the way he looked. On 29the November 2012, the fateful day when we went to the hospital for the first time to consult the doctor regarding removal of gall stones. He woke up early. The first thing papa did after waking up was to shave( i have seen him doing since i was a baby). This routine continued till he himself was able to do it. And later on when he became bedridden, he would ask my elder brother to do it.

Papa, would never wear clothes without ironing ( he made ironing look as a form art)l. He was again dressed in his favorite neatly ironed cream colored shirt, brown trousers and well polished shoes . Looking at his preparation,  mom joked, you are not going to office  but to the hospital.

Mom tells us that papa was a great fan of Dev Anand ( the actor). Infact, when they got married. All his shirt had long collars. His style sense was so strong that it gave complex to many even today. 

The colors, he chose were very elite. His dressing style was way ahead of times. The suits he wore are still in fashion. In an earlier chapter i had mentioned, papa loved shopping. But after he came to know about cancer, he lost interest in life, colors and everything else. After that he never shopped. There was this mall next to this hospital. And since we had ample time after giving sample for blood tests and collecting report(s). I would often take papa to the mall.. Once when i insisted that he buys something for himself, he said “ now i don’t need it”.It was painful. And my fears have started taking shape- fear that papa has sensed his approaching “end”

In the next few months he grew weaker and weaker. He couldn’t walk and would just sit in the waiting area. But I never stopped telling him about the new SALE(s) going on and my shopping. He would see, listen , smile and then we would get up and  start walking  towards the report collection center. 

Miss you PAPA!